Taking control

Being in charge of things is all about taking responsibility of how we feel.It means that no one else is responsible for how we feel. People can try to hurt us but it is some insecurity inside us which makes us feel hurt. We lose control when our expectations are not being met. Our mind tends to amplify the situation at hand or be afraid of adverse events in future if we do not push too hard or avoid the situation all together as response.

Constantly thinking about events and people who make us feel hurt, imagining bitter interactions and fearing undesirable consequences in the future if we give the other person leeway makes us feel miserable. We thus become puppets in the hands of other people and let them dominate our thoughts and actions.

No matter how controlled we appear, our mind is not at peace when we come across people / situations where our expectations are not met. In the fast and busy lives we lead today, imagine the number of people who make us feel out of control. All this builds up our stress levels and takes away our happiness.

Each time we amplify some situation or ruminate about something, we need to investigate that insecurity in us which is making us feel hurt and see how we can address it. The truth is that nobody can control us till we let them do so.

Being in charge also means that we respect the values of others and motivate them to rise above their weaknesses. If they do not respond favorably to us then we need to reflect on why they are doing so. If it is because their values are different but appropriate then we should respect them for who they are. If it is because they are afraid of changing themselves then we need to show them the right path. Sometimes people will see reason and at other times they will not. We need to understand that each soul has her own journey and there is a right time for everything. With this understanding, no body can hurt us and stop us from taking control!