Happiness and Mithya

My Search

 “So I say to you, Ask and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.”

                                          Jesus Christ

Since quite some time I was wondering how I can be happy in life. So I decided to speak to some of my friends and acquaintances on what happiness meant to them. Let me share with you the different views I heard from people.

• “My employees should listen to me and follow me. I am happy when I am in charge.”
• "Happiness is when I am holidaying at a beautiful place."
• "I will be happy when I make it to IIT."
• “I want my children to do well. That is happiness for me.”
• “I have led a fulfilling life and now I want my values to be imbibed by others. That is my source of happiness.”
• “I have been yearning for a baby boy. To give birth to one will be true happiness.”
• “If I am doing something that interests me I am happy.”
• “I will be happy if I find the right job for myself.”
• “I do not know which stream to choose. Not too interested in academics. I will be happy once I am done with my schooling.”
• “I do not know which stream to choose. Not too interested in academics. I will be happy once I am done with my schooling.”
• “I want to make my parents happy. That is how I define happiness.”
•  “I want my husband to accept me. There is no other meaning of happiness for me.”
• “If I get a different boss I will be happy.”
• "I am happy when I watch a good movie."
• "If I can sleep for long I am happy.”

Do you identify yourself with some of these revelations? By the end of my tête-à-têtes I realized that there are so many “wants” we have in our lives and our happiness is dependent on the fulfilment of those wants from situations and people. To look at it differently, for a better future we keep postponing our happiness.

Understanding Happiness

Ironically happiness is all about living in present. As a wise man had said” Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” Happiness is about accepting situations and people the way they are. It is a belief that everything is okay or is going to be okay. As rightly put by a wise woman, “I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.”

The Ghastly Truth

So unintentionally, we drive away happiness from our lives.  This intrigued me to discover what people do intentionally to be happy in their lives. As expected, the paths chosen were different for different people. Some worked very hard, some prayed, some leveraged their network and authority while some were misled in their approach and used negative methods to seek happiness.

I decided to dig a little deeper and see what they did in their daily routines. There were some interesting commonalities in their behaviour. Being in a mad rush, following daily news / television shows, deliberating on the new developments, gossiping, judging people. I inquired from them on how it felt like while participating in such activities.

People confessed that there is a constant sense of being a part of rat race. There is continuous running. Sometimes it is just out of habit. It is difficult to trust others. Amongst too much competition, so many crimes in the city the only person whom you can trust is you yourself. A lot of people especially those who were either home-makers or stayed in smaller cities revealed a constant fear of being judged by the society. News of too many untoward happenings in the city left them feeling insecure.

I further tried to understand how it felt like to be happy. People shared a feeling of lightness in their body and mind when they were happy. They were taken aback when I asked them on the frequency of feeling this way.

By now I was flabbergasted by the gap of how everyone wanted to feel and how they were feeling each day. I have really began questioning this in my mind. Can we only find happiness on the horizon? Is there something wrong with our lifestyle today? Is happiness a myth? How can we as a society deal with this? 

Ray of hope

To begin with one has to "realise" that life is a journey and not a destination. We should strive to be happy not just on meeting our goals but also while working towards them.

As another wise man had said, "Life is not about looking for meaning but creating something meaningful."

Here are 8 habits which will keep us happy and empower us to spread happiness. 

1) Beginning our day with meditation and positive affirmation

2) Planning the rest of our day

3) Exercising

4) Having small, nutritious and frequent meals

5) Saying no to judging others

6) Giving our best 

7) Responding and not reacting

8) Having a good sleep

Magical game

Snakes & ladder, I Spy, Video games.... Games bring such joy in life. Be it a young child or an old man, we all like to play. It comes so naturally to us and connects us with each other. Even when an infant does not know how to talk, it knows how to play. Leave alone others, even nature loves to play. 

We were fortunate to witness such a splendid game in our visit to Lansdowne. Coming from a metro city, we were a group of friends who were keen to experience this beautiful sight.  

Getting up at 4:30 am was ofcourse a herculean task for late birds like us. But the excitement to watch something so phenomenal did the trick for us. 

We observed in front of our eyes, the rising sun playing elaborately with the mountain peaks. Its boundless rays spread themselves across the sky announcing the arrival of the king As it crowned many peaks with its colour palette, it left us second guessing which peak it has chosen to rise from. We had fixed our eyes on one peak when we noticed another peak also getting illuminated. The playful sun chose a third peak to rise from. As it slowly revealed itself, naughty clouds enveloped it and hid it from our view. Gradually the clouds floated away and we could see the full sun in front of us. It was such a magical experience to see the sun painting the large canvas of sky with shades of yellow and orange. 

It has been imprinted in my memory and would stay there for the rest of my life..

Photograph: Courtesy , Umesh Kolhe